The #1 Mistake High-Achievers Make in Their Relationships

#LeadandLift | Episode 128 | Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

The Surprising Mistake Even Top Performers Make in Their Relationships (and 3 Ways to Fix It Fast)

You’ve mastered the hustle. You’re building your business, climbing the corporate ladder, or leading a thriving team.
But behind closed doors, there’s tension. Disconnection. A quiet ache that whispers:

“Why does it feel like I’m winning everywhere—except in my relationships?” 

You’re not alone.
And the mistake you’re making probably isn’t what you think.

It’s not poor communication.
It’s not time management.
It’s not even burnout.

In this blog, based on EP128 of the Lead and Lift Podcast with Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath, we reveal the real reason high-achievers struggle in their relationships—and share 3 powerful (and practical) ways to change that… starting today.

The Hidden Mistake That’s Draining Your Relationships

The #1 mistake high-achievers make?

👉 Neglecting emotional connection in the pursuit of professional success. 

You tell yourself:

“They’ll understand—I’m doing this for us.”
“We’ll catch up when things slow down.”
“I’m providing. That should be enough, right?”

But it’s not.
Because what your partner, your kids, your friends, and even your team really want…
Is you. Your presence. Your energy. Your heart. 

High performers know:
Success without meaningful relationships is just a lonely win.
Here’s how to fix it:

1. Stop Treating Relationships Like Projects

A relationship isn’t a checklist—it’s a garden.
You can’t “complete” love. You have to nurture it. 

High-achievers often run their personal lives like a task list:

• Grocery? ✔️
• Take out trash? ✔️
• Family dinner once a month? ✔️

But connection can’t be rushed or scheduled like a meeting.

Recently, I read The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. My husband and I started doing the exercises—and had the time of our lives. We were laughing, connecting, celebrating how much we’ve grown.

It reminded me: Relationships thrive when you water them—not when you tick boxes. 

"Relationships are not checklists of things to complete. They're more like a garden that requires nurturing.  You gotta go pull the weeds out, prune the trees, water it, fertilize it.  You gotta spend time in the garden if you want to get the fruits and flowers." - Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

✅ Action Tip: Build “emotional rituals.”

• Weekly check-ins
• Regular date nights
• Moments that go beyond logistics and into feelings, memories, dreams

2. Underestimating the Power of Presence

Metaphor: It’s like planting a tree and never watering it.
Just being there isn’t enough. You have to be mentally and emotionally present. 

Confession: My husband reminded me of a conversation… and I had zero memory of it.
He laughed: “Yeah, because you weren’t really there.”
Ouch.
But he was right.

We read personal development books together, and we constantly challenge each other to grow. He’s even using what he’s learning to build better relationships at work. That’s leadership. That’s love in action.

✅ Action Tip: Start practicing active listening. 

• When you're with your partner or kids, be fully there.
• Put down the phone.
• Pause the to-do list.
• Soak in the moment.

Need help with presence? Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’ll teach you how to feel your days again—and remember them, because they mattered.

3. Forgetting to Be Emotionally Vulnerable

Here’s the thing about high-achievers:
You’re used to being in control. Holding it all together. Solving problems.
But that “strong front” can build walls instead of bridges. 

When you hide your fears, doubts, and dreams, you miss the chance to connect on the deepest level.

"You don’t need to be perfect to be loved. You just need to be real."

And yes, it might feel awkward.
Yes, it takes courage.
But vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s relational power.

✅ Action Tip: Take off the “leader hat” at home.

• Share what’s on your heart.
• Tell them what scares you, excites you, or keeps you up at night.
• Let them in.

You’ll be amazed at how safe, seen, and supported you’ll start to feel too.

Time to Reflect… and Reconnect

If this episode hit home, pause and ask yourself:

🧠 Are you building your business but neglecting your bond?
💬 Are you talking logistics but not feelings?
📱 Are you in the room—but not really present?

You don’t have to keep making the same mistake.
Your relationships can be rich, strong, and fulfilling—even while you lead, build, and achieve. 

But it starts with you.

🎯 Your Challenge This Week:

• Schedule an emotional check-in (not a task update)
• Be fully present during a conversation
• Share something real and vulnerable
• Pick up one of the books: The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work or The Power of Now 

“A fulfilling life isn’t just about what you achieve—it’s about who you become and how you show up for those you love.”

Don’t wait for a wake-up call.
Don’t wait for things to break.
Reconnect now.
Because the real reward of high performance… is a life filled with love, presence, and purpose.

Links mentioned in this episode: 

• Chabidaye Facebook
• Chabidaye Instagram
• Chabidaye LinkedIn
• Chabidaye Website