Beyond the Office Walls: How Smart Leaders Create Flexibility That Works

#LeadandLift | Episode 143 | Wendy Cocke

What if the very thing you were told would stall your career became the catalyst that accelerated it? 

That’s exactly what happened to Wendy Cocke.

When Wendy, a high-performing engineer at a Fortune 100 company asked for flexibility as a working mom, she was warned her ambition would suffer. Instead of accepting that narrative, she challenged it. What followed was not a stalled career, but a redefined version of success.  One that allowed her to rise into leadership, retain top talent, and become a powerful voice in the future of work.

In this episode of Lead and Lift, Wendy joins host Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath to unpack what flexibility really looks like when leaders are willing to rethink outdated rules and why this conversation matters now more than ever.

The False Choice Working Moms Are Still Being Asked to Make

For decades, working mothers have been handed the same impossible choice:

“You can be present at home, or you can be ambitious at work, but not both.” 

Wendy lived that tension firsthand.  Raised by a mother who ran a business while staying home, Wendy never believed work and motherhood had to be mutually exclusive. Yet when she became pregnant while climbing the corporate ladder, the system around her told a different story.

Flexibility policies technically existed but only for certain roles.
Leadership? Project management? Ambition?
Those still required a full-time, in-office presence.

And Wendy was told plainly: “You can’t be part-time and lead.”

“When we ask moms to choose between work and family, we create a system where nobody wins.” – Wendy Cocke

The Moment Everything Shifted

After months of negotiation, Wendy was offered a management role, on a part-time schedule, something no one had ever done in that organization.

Then came the irony.  The executive who hesitated for months, waiting for Wendy to “go full-time,” finally approved the role…The very weekend Wendy went into labor.

In that moment, the truth became undeniable:

“I’d rather have part of you than none of you.” 

That realization wasn’t just personal, it was systemic.

Work and family aren’t competing forces. They are interdependent.

And organizations that refuse to adapt don’t just lose women, they lose leadership capacity.

Flexibility Is Not a Favor.  It’s a Strategy

One of the most powerful insights Wendy shared is this:

Flexibility is not about convenience. It’s about performance, retention, and sustainability. 

When Wendy pushed for flexibility, she didn’t rely on emotion, she relied on strategy.  She asked for a 90-day trial.

Not forever.
Not indefinitely.
Just a test.

Why it worked:

• It lowered perceived risk for leadership
• It created a clear evaluation window
• It shifted the conversation from fear to data 

And then Wendy did something even smarter.

She over-communicated.
She rallied her team.
She invited feedback.
She solved problems before they escalated.

At the end of the trial, her VP didn’t even realize she’d been working flexibly.

That’s the point.

“Rethink how you pitch flexibility. Make it easy to say yes now, and hard to say no later.” – Wendy Cocke

Speak the Language of Business (Not Guilt)

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make, especially women, is pitching flexibility from an emotional place.

Wendy is clear:

Emotion is human, but it’s not the language of business. 

The language of business is:

• Time 
• Money 
• Resources 

If you want flexibility approved, your question must be:  How does this help the organization win? 

Wendy illustrated this through another powerful example: helping a senior employee relocate to Arizona instead of retiring early.  By reframing flexibility as a cost-saving, talent-retention strategy, the company gained 10 additional years of expertise.

That’s not accommodation.
That’s leadership.

Why “Return to Office” Is a Leadership Issue, Not a Policy One

As companies mandate rigid return-to-office policies, Wendy challenges leaders to ask a better question:

What is the right work, in the right place, at the right time? 

Not all work requires a chair in an office.
Not all value is created between 9 and 5.
And not all leadership is visible in meetings.

The pandemic proved something we can’t unlearn:
Results don’t depend on proximity, they depend on trust. 

“The best leaders don’t manage presence. They manage outcomes.” – Wendy Cocke

Make Boundaries Visible, Especially If You’re a Leader

One of the most unexpected moments in Wendy’s story came when HR discovered she’d been working part-time successfully at a senior level.  Instead of shutting it down, her CHRO gave her a bold challenge:

“Stop hiding it. Make your boundaries public.” 

Why?  Because visibility changes culture.

When leaders openly say:

• “I’m leaving to pick up my kids.”
• “I’m unavailable during carpool, but I’ll be back later.”
• “I’m working flexibly and the business is thriving.”

They normalize balance.
They give permission.
They lead by example.

And the next generation is watching.

Ambition and Alignment Can Coexist, Just Not All at Once

For anyone feeling torn between growth and presence, Wendy offered this grounding reminder:

You can have everything, just not all at the same time. 

On any given day:

• You might be the best leader, not the best parent
• The best parent, not the best partner
• The best friend, not the most productive employee

And that’s okay.

Zoom out.
Look at the whole picture.
Success is a long game.

“Nobody lives in your house. You get to define what success looks like for your life.” – Wendy Cocke

Key Takeaways for Leaders and Working Parents

1. Stop accepting false trade-offs
Flexibility and ambition are not opposites.

2. Ask for trials, not forever decisions
Short-term experiments reduce fear and build trust.

3. Pitch flexibility in business terms
Time, money, resources, not guilt.

4. Make boundaries visible if you have the capital
Your visibility gives others permission.

5. Redefine success on your timeline
Balance happens over seasons, not days.

Final Wisdom Worth Remembering

Wendy closed the conversation with words every leader needs to hear:

“Trust yourself. You know what’s best for your life. And never take a no from someone who doesn’t have the authority to give you a yes.” 

That’s not just advice.
That’s leadership.

Links mentioned in this episode: 

• Wendy Cocke FREE RESOURCES
• Wendy Cocke LinkedIn
•  Wendy Cocke Website

Links mentioned in this episode: 

• Chabidaye Facebook
• Chabidaye Instagram
• Chabidaye LinkedIn
• Chabidaye Website