How To Increase Your Confidence

#LeadandLift | Episode 70 | Janet Schoen

Our special guest for this episode of Lead and Lift, Janet Schoen, is a coach with a focus on trauma and grief and she talked about the journey she experienced that got her to who she is today.

Janet had a near-death car accident when she was 20 years old. This had caused a traumatic brain injury and she was in a coma for four days, on life support for two weeks, seven weeks of inpatient rehab, and three months of outpatient rehab.

Finding the light in the darkness

These dark times brought about a lesson, a light that she now holds up to the world to give people hope and guide them through similar kinds of hardships as a coach. She believes that God has given her a gift: the knowledge of the Law of Creation which allowed her to get clarity on what she wanted in life and what she didn’t want.

We all have a story to share. All of us go through these kinds of tragedies and journeys of hardships and we don’t often see the purpose while we’re in it. Being able to go through it and come out as a different person with all the lessons that the traumatic experience had taught us isn’t only a gift for us, but also for those who are around us - those that listen to our story.

Often, you won’t be able to tell what another person may be going through. Look at the people around you and see them, hear them out, and ask them how they’re really doing because they might just be going through their darkest time. When you ask, you will be in the position to listen and inspire them with your story, if they ask for it.

You may very well be the one that God or the universe sent to be a messenger of hope to that person that will give them the jolt they need in order to take the next step and continue.

Honing in on your purpose

Janet had goals that she wanted to achieve and when she found herself not being able to get there, she looked around for those that were able to achieve what they did and asked them how they did it. Everyone she ever asked told her that it had to come from the inside.

That’s what got her to start her journey with mindset, implementing everything she learned. One day, she talked to one of the coaches and expressed her interest in what they do. She loved how they were helping people and wanted to do it too.

Janet knew that she was made for more, although at the time, she didn’t know what the more was.

“Every day that our eyes open is a gift. We are to learn something that’s going to help us one step close to whatever we’re doing - serving the Lord or serving the universe and just working together as a community.” - Janet Schoen


It doesn’t matter how hard you try to cover it up, your yearning to live out your purpose will always be there inside you. Ignore it but it will come back time and time again until you do something about it.

If what’s keeping you from fulfilling the desire of your heart is that you believe it’s far more valuable to spend your time in helping people rather than yourself, then know this, your purpose always involves helping other people. By fulfilling your purpose, you’ll be giving value to the world and be a gift of hope to those that you help.

Where confidence comes from

The very first thing you need to understand about confidence is that it can’t be found anywhere outside of you. Confidence springs forth from within. Hone in on your desire to improve in confidence. Appreciate yourself for your desire to grow and allow yourself to be happy when you’re developing yourself - that will help give you the confidence.

Start each day out with a practice that will keep you grounded and spiritually centered. This could be prayer, meditation, or any other thing that works for you. Be grateful for another day because there’s always a reason why you woke up, there is a purpose that you’ve been granted another morning.

Tips for journaling

Janet does a lot of journaling. It’s one of the practices that helped her improve in the area of confidence and in her emotional wellbeing in general. Try out one of her suggestions which is to write a “trigger book” journal. In your trigger book, write anything that’s negative in your thoughts and in your words. Get them out and put them on a sheet of paper so that you can let them go.

Write down your goals, your dreams, or the changes that you want to see in yourself, your life, and your career. You might find yourself looking back at that entry in the future and smiling at yourself, seeing how far you’ve gotten from that point.

If you can’t find anything to write about, try writing about the five things that made your morning or the five things that allowed you to get where you are at the moment.

“Gratitude always opens up the window to bigger and better things.” - Janet Schoen

Write about anything that comes to your mind, whether positive or negative. By consistently working on this, you’ll see as time goes the patterns that will help you recognize what the things are that triggers you, and once you start recognizing that, you’ll be able to respond to it in a better way the next time they come up.

Don’t keep your ideas in your head. Put it down on paper so that they don’t suffocate your mind-space or become forgotten. When we have too many things in our heads, it’ll be hard for us to get new ideas.

Your story matters

You have a story to tell, you might just not know it yet. God or the universe has chosen you to share that story with the world in order to lift others up. Every experience you’ve had can be a beacon of hope for somebody who might be going through something similar.

Confidence comes from finding it inside out. Love yourself, and know that you are made of love. Make a difference in people’s day by giving them a smile. Always have a bit of laughter in your life because it makes everything doable. Laughter is a gift and anything that helps us get through and take another step forward in our journey allows us to continue on in embracing who we are meant to be.

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