The Leadership Skill No One Taught You

#LeadandLift | Episode 137 | Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

Have you ever felt like your message isn’t landing — or that your team doesn’t care as much as you do?
You’ve implemented the systems. You’ve got the strategy, the goals, and the KPIs.

Yet… your team still isn’t performing at the level you know they’re capable of.
They’re showing up — but not fully engaged. They’re doing the work — but the spark is gone.

And somehow, despite your best efforts, it feels like you’re carrying the whole thing on your shoulders.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This is one of the biggest frustrations leaders face today.

But here’s the truth no one told you:

Your team’s performance has very little to do with your strategy — and everything to do with how you make them feel.

Leadership Isn’t About Managing Projects — It’s About Managing People

When you started your career, no one said, “Your success as a leader will depend on how well you manage emotions — yours and everyone else’s.”

They taught you to manage tasks, deadlines, and results.
But leadership is not about projects. It’s about people.

"Leadership isn’t about managing projects.  It’s about managing emotions.” Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

I learned this early in my corporate days as a Project Management Professional (PMP). I often led cross-functional teams — people I didn’t manage directly — yet I had to influence them to deliver.

That’s when I realized something powerful:

“People don’t perform because they have to. They perform because they want to — for someone who sees them, values them, and makes them feel capable." Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

The best leaders don’t just move projects forward — they move people forward.
And the key that makes this possible? Emotional intelligence (EQ). 

Why Emotional Intelligence Is the Leadership Edge

Emotional intelligence isn’t “soft.”
It’s the edge that separates good leaders from unforgettable ones.

It builds loyalty, motivation, and momentum, especially when times are tough.
And it’s the one skill no one teaches… yet it changes everything.

Let’s look at five ways emotional intelligence transforms your leadership.

1. Influence Is Emotional, Not Positional

John Maxwell says it best: “Leadership is influence — nothing more, nothing less.” 

Influence isn’t about your title; it’s about trust.
Every interaction either strengthens or cracks that bridge of trust.

"You can’t command connection — you create it." Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

When I worked with a Fortune 150 company, I was the fourth project manager assigned to a failing program. The tech and business teams weren’t even talking.
So instead of pushing deadlines, I walked over to meet the tech lead. We connected as people first — not colleagues.

That one relationship changed everything. We delivered the project on time and on budget through COVID restrictions, and that leader remains a close friend today.

Action Step:
Start every meeting with connection before correction.
Ask, “What are you most excited about this week?” or “I appreciate the way you handled that.”
Small moments of care build massive loyalty.

When trust goes up, resistance goes down — and performance soars.

2. Your Team Feels You Before They Hear You

Your energy sets the tone.

If you walk into a meeting rushed or stressed, your team feels it instantly — even if you never say a word.
When you show up grounded and intentional, they rise to meet your energy.

“Your team feels you before they hear you.” Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

I once coached a leader who shifted her entire meeting culture by focusing on this one habit: energy management. 

Before meetings, she’d take 60 seconds, close her eyes, breathe, and ask:

“What energy do I want to bring into this space?”

Within weeks, her team became more positive, engaged, and solution-focused.

Action Step:
Before your next meeting, pause. Set an intention for your energy.
You’ll be amazed how quickly tone and focus shift when you lead with calm and clarity.

3. People Remember How You Made Them Feel

Your words are like seeds — but emotion is the soil. 

If there’s no trust or empathy, even the best ideas can’t take root.

Leaders often say things like:

• “They don’t listen.”
• “They don’t care.”
• “They’re not motivated.”

But often, your team just doesn’t feel seen, valued, or safe enough to engage.

Action Step:
Make emotional check-ins a norm.
Start team meetings by asking:

“What’s one win or one challenge you’ve had this week?”

That single question opens a door to connection — and that’s where performance begins.

4. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Isn’t Soft — It’s Strategic

Imagine your business as a boat.
Every person is rowing — but not in sync. You’re expending energy, but not moving forward.

Sound familiar? That’s what happens when teams lack emotional connection and shared understanding.

Instead of asking for status updates, ask for ownership:

“What’s your plan to move this forward?”
“What support do you need from me?”

That shift moves you from managing to empowering.

When people own the mission, they don’t wait for direction — they create results. 

5. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Starts with Self-Awareness

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

If you don’t understand your own emotions and triggers, you’ll project them onto your team — and call it “standards.”

Underneath frustration often lies fatigue, fear, or feeling unseen yourself.

Action Step:
At the end of each day, reflect:

“When did I react today — and why?”

“Awareness doesn’t make you weak.  It makes you powerful — because now, you can lead with clarity instead of reactivity.” Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

How to Grow Your Emotional Intelligence

Here’s the good news — emotional intelligence is a skill you can train.

When you strengthen it, everything changes:
✅ You communicate with clarity.
✅ You build deeper trust.
✅ You lead with influence, not intimidation.

Here’s where to start: 

1. Reflect daily.
   Ask: “What emotions did I bring into the room today — and how did they impact others?”
2. Seek feedback.
   Emotional blind spots are real. Invite someone you trust to share how you show up under pressure.
3. Invest in coaching.
   A great coach helps you see what you can’t — your patterns, your mindset, your energy.
   They help you lead with confidence, connection, and calm.

If you’re ready to elevate your leadership through emotional intelligence, apply for personalized High Performance Leadership coaching with me.

👉 Apply now at LeadandLift.com/coaching

Final Thoughts: The Heart of Leadership

The best leaders don’t just drive results — they elevate people.

People may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel. 

Your tone, your presence, and your energy are part of your leadership strategy.
Your team can only rise as high as your emotional leadership allows.

When you grow, everyone around you grows too!

Links mentioned in this episode: 

• Chabidaye Facebook
• Chabidaye Instagram
• Chabidaye LinkedIn
• Chabidaye Website