Aligning With Your Purpose and Priorities

#LeadandLift | Episode 49 | Ebenezer Mamabolo

Will you be able to honestly say that your meaning of success is your own, and not other people’s?

Growing up with purpose-driven parents is a good way for children to see what it is like to live a life of purpose. However, the disadvantage is that often the children get tied into whatever their parents are doing that they start living life only to fulfill their parents’ purpose and not their own.

“I got on a journey where I started asking myself besides all these things that I’m involved in in the church, what really is my purpose in life?” - Ebenezer Mamabolo

Does the above statement feel familiar to you? If it does, then it’s time to go on a journey to discover your own true life’s purpose.

Finding Your Purpose and Success

Living your life to pursue another person’s definition of success is the surest path to unhappiness. You might find yourself “successful”, rich, famous, or highly approved of by other people, but deep inside, there will be that feeling - that question - of “is this really what life's all about?” or “is this really what I want for myself?”

Pursuing your purpose is life-giving, satisfying, and fulfilling. If your life doesn’t reflect those three words right now, it’s possible that you might not be pursuing your purpose or that you are pursuing the purpose of someone else.

The best way to figure out your own purpose is to pause and reflect. Forget about everything that everybody else has told you about what success is and instead, think and listen to what your heart says. In this space of stillness and internal conversation, create your own meaning of success. Hone in on that purpose that your heart seeks.

“A lot of reading I’ve done on fulfillment and purpose - it’s always tied to helping other people. That’s what I’ve found so far. There’s something unique about helping people that fills you up. They have a win but you feel fulfilled…” - Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

How would you like to serve other people? In what aspect do you want to help them with? Your answer to these two questions will be helpful in finding what your purpose is.

Pursuing Your Purpose According To Your Priorities

What is your image of success? What do you think your life would look like when you’ve made it? Would you rather win and be alone, with no one to celebrate your success with but yourself?

It doesn’t have to be lonely at the top. If you pursue your purpose without neglecting your priorities in life, like health and family, then you’ll find that you’ll achieve an even more satisfying version of success.

Ebenezer gave us very practical advice when it comes to pursuing our purpose in the right way. First, we have to make a priority list. This would be a list of about 5 things that are the most important to you. Put in your family, perhaps your faith, your health, your business, or any other thing or person that’s important to you.

Bring these five important things with you in your journey to success. Align your decisions to your priorities.

Prioritizing Your Health and Wellbeing

In the pursuit of helping other people, forget not that you are a person too yourself. You can’t give people what you don’t have so if you’re not setting aside time and resources to help yourself, you’ll run out. You’ll burn out and crash.

One of my most favorite quotes is this: “give from the saucer, and not from the cup”. It simply means that you must give from the overflow and not from the source.

If you find it hard to care for yourself, then consider these two concepts:

First, understand that caring for yourself is a practical choice and not a luxury. If you want to do a lot of good and continue doing good, you have to take care of your body and your mind, for these are your instruments of doing good. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re dooming those you serve into experiencing sub-par value and service.

Second, see yourself from a third person perspective. Treat yourself as you would treat a best friend or a loved one. You want your loved ones to do their best at work, but you also want them to live healthily and happily. You want them to have enough sleep, enough rest, enough nutrition. Give these things also to yourself.

Prioritizing Your Relationships

Have you ever imagined what it would be like at your funeral? Who do you guess would be there, grieving for your loss?

The boss that you might be trying to please, will he or she be there at your funeral? Will they be crying for your loss, or thinking instead of who to replace you?

The only ones that truly care for you and love you will be the ones crying at your funeral. Your true friends and your family will be the only ones that will truly grieve your loss.

One of the saddest things is that for many people, most of their time is spent on those that don’t really care about them. Some spend all their life catching up to deadlines and vying for the next promotion that they forget the people that should matter most.

“We keep thinking that we always have tomorrow, but we don’t. In truth, we only have this moment, right now. Making sure that the actions that we take align with - purpose and priorities that we set really helps us to move forward and protect those priorities.” - Chabidaye Jaglal Ramnath

There’s nothing inherently wrong with working hard for success and growth in your career, in fact, that’s a very good thing that everyone must strive to do. However, take note that one of the top reasons why people don’t feel fulfilled despite getting “success” is that they are sacrificing their priority for that success.

Getting to the finish line and finding that you’re all alone in there is the most hollow victory you can ever achieve.

That’s why starting today, you have to structure your life in a way where when you win, you’ll be winning alongside the people that you love. Take them with you in your journey, that’s the only way that it’s ever going to be worth it.

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